There are these things we have to do in life that we don’t want to do.
The chores, the routine, the things that need to be fixed. This doesn’t just have to be things like cleaning, which I hate, but sometimes the things that we enjoy become routine and don’t interest us so much. And we stop wanting it. Sex can be like this. Relationships can be like this. Our careers can become like this. The healthy routine goes by the wayside.
And suddenly we don’t know what we want any more. And this is a good sign actually! It means you’ve gotten the experience you wanted. You’re ready to go deeper, to change things up, to create new experiences.
Something I see a lot is when you start doing something you love and then someone else comes along and trashes the experience your having. They taint it with their opinion. And suddenly you start to pull back. You just can’t enjoy what you were doing the same way.
I see this in yoga a lot. Someone finds a great teacher and class, they love it, and then another student comes along and tells them their yoga teacher and class is much better (and cooler). It’s completely deflating. (This is what happens when you don’t stay in approval of your experience, you get trashed by OPD – other peoples disapproval).
And then you’re in the same place. What you were doing doesn’t interest you so much.
So either two things can happen here. Naturally you will just move on to something else. If you’re still connected to authentic desire and in approval then it will flow. In this case you’ll just know when you need to try something else.
However, if you’re in a great relationship, or a great career, or want to sex to stay electric, if you’re committed to something then you won’t just walk away, unless you know it’s time to move on.
When you are committed and you’re not going to walk away then what is it that is going to bring it to life? What is it that will take you deeper and to the next level.
Well it’s really about becoming vulnerable.
Opening up a little more so we can be seen. Putting yourself at risk of those tender parts being hurt. These are the parts we hold back from our experience.
It’s easy to say that, but what does this look like in life?
It can be as simple as saying the things you want to say in a relationship, asking the questions you want to ask, expressing what is going on inside of you, the joy and the pain. And it’s about finding a new experience together, new friends, new communities to explore, new adventures, that take you both into that new place inside you. Of course to do this you need to communicate!
It can also be about exploring the world of the people you have relationships with. This is incredibly exciting and changes the experience. I remember sitting in a shamanic ceremony with my partner for the first time in two years (after we had first met) and it was such a different experience. Getting her to see me in an environment and activity that means a lot to me made me feel so seen and connected with her.
In a career it might mean raising the stakes a bit more. Taking on a little more responsibility. Or giving it away. It might mean connecting to your co-workers a little more. Where do you feel you can open up more so that it becomes interesting? If you want it to be more interesting then it’s a good sign you still like where you work and what you do. If you don’t want to go deeper then to me that’s a sign that there is a block or you just need to move on.
Sex… well that’s a whole post in itself. And I think with a little imagination you’ll have fun going deeper with out my input!
The key thing is to feel where you’re holding back and bring it to the experience. Bring it! All your fear, anxiety, pain, guilt, shame, etc, is part of you and the part that needs to become part of your the wonderful experience that authentic desire is creating for you.
This is how we let our vulnerability be seen and felt in the world. It’s how we get seen by the people we are connected to in our life. And it’s how we continue to stay connected to ourselves.
So connect where you hold back the vulneratble parts of you and connect it to your authentic desire and let it show you how to bring it into these areas of your life where you are stuck or stagnating.
Up the ante a little more, find the edge, and you’ll start flowing and glowing!
If you’re new to my work then you need to understand that the three core principles to create claity, approval and excitement in your life are: awareness, self approval and authentic desire. To get into this you need a practice, you need techniques. This is what I teach. Check out my courses to see what suits, or if you would like to explore a free online coaching session I’ll be happy to take you through the process (schedule permitting). You can reach me always at firstname.lastname@example.org
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